F55
Singles, couples, other? Is posing as a couple to gain entry to an event wrong?
June 18 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Interesting. It certainly seems like that guy was using his friend to circumvent the rules of the club. Do you know whether she was aware of this, or had / does he give her the impression that he returns her feelings (which would make him even more of a sleazy bastard than he already appears to be, particularly given her illness)?I'm going to the Saints & Sinners Ball on Friday, which has a strict 'no single males' policy. Not surprisingly, I've had a few single guys contact me about it, obviously with the intention of trying to go with me as a 'couple' and then once we're in the door, go our separate ways. One rather arrogant specimen messaged me and basically said that he would be there regardless, and I should really accept his offer for the wonderful privelege of spending time in his company (not said in those words, but definitely how it came across). Obviously this doesn't surprise me and I'm sure there will be a quite a few 'couples' there who are not really couples and probably not even FWBs or FBs. I think this would probably only really piss me off if the guy then proceeds to be a total sleaze and assume that just because of the nature of the event, that he's entitled to have any female there. Oh, and the manner by which he found a single girl to go with him would also affect my view, i.e. did he knowingly take advantage of some existing feelings on her part but actually have no intention of staying with her for the night (as it seemed to be at your gathering), or is it simply a business arrangement where both parties are aware of where they stand.
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RHP User
12 years ago
But there is ALWAYS one that sneaks in under such disguise. They are usually repeat offenders. Msfun
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RHP User
12 years ago
Interestingly enough....the few single guys in the room were not the problem. Like you were saying, Luckdragon, one single guy did inbox me prior and ask 'politely' if I would like to meet up beforehand and go together? I simply said 'Oh look, no thanks, I'll see you at the party if you go?' and he accepted that without any back chat.At least the one's who arrived single relied on their own set of balls for the courage to do so. I think it just puts everything on such a better footing from the outset.Hopefully you have a better night on Friday, Luckdragon.
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RHP User
12 years ago
So What ? There are quite a few FWB's on here who have couples profiles, most are pretty open about it, why shouldn't that extend to swingers clubs ?A guy like that could just have easily had a wife in there.Sounds to me like you allowed him to take over your night.In situations like that you are going to be dealing with some pretty confident self assured characters if you don't have the assertiveness to get him out of your face maybe next time you should take a friend, male or female as a "wingman" ?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Last week I received a message from a guy, asking me if I wanted to come to Angels and Demons with him on the 5th of July. "Come with you?" I responded. "I'm quite aware that you'd have to come with me to even get in". He replied by saying he'd have no problem getting in, and I'm sure he's right. He'll find a woman willing to escort him, and hopefully she'll be on the same page as him. 50zcool is right too. I have a FWB whom I've been to the Couple Club with several times. But we certainly stick together throughout the night.
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RHP User
12 years ago
...I did admit in my OP about owning my own part in it as well as questioning myself about what I had allowed to happen with 'my' night. The thing is I am single, self assured and confident too! This was the first time I had ever been to any event, whatsoever, but, that didn't mean I was going to use any friends of mine, male or female, as a kind of 'quasi bodyguard'. I shouldn't have to. Wouldn't that be like the very person I have just described? I chose to go as a single woman even though I didn't know anyone. If that is not confident and assertive then I don't know what is? Anyway, you are missing the point. They arrived together as a couple, revealed after an hour or so that they were not really a couple and then as the alcohol flowed things went suddenly pear shaped for them because their original status of which they both agreed and were on the same page about shifted to the female being on a different page entirely to the guy. So nothing really to do with me? If I ever do get the inclination to go to another event in the future I will try to make sure that I am not seen as a sitting duck, the in house psychotherapist/relationship counsellor or the butter on someone else's shit sandwich. So thanks for your take on it 50 Ozfool....BTW....Sorry I haven't answered any of your flirts......
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RHP User
12 years ago
Oops?...I meant Ozcool....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_Direct' Last week I received a message from a guy, asking me if I wanted to come to Angels and Demons with him on the 5th of July. "Come with you?" I responded. "I'm quite aware that you'd have to come with me to even get in". He replied by saying he'd have no problem getting in, and I'm sure he's right. He'll find a woman willing to escort him, and hopefully she'll be on the same page as him. 50zcool is right too. I have a FWB whom I've been to the Couple Club with several times. But we certainly stick together throughout the night.How guys try to switch it around and make you feel like they are making you an offer you can't possibly refuse? But why? Is it the money thing?You are way too strong to fall for that one Ms_D.Such arrogance with his declaration that he would have no trouble getting in? Sounds to me like he was having a lot of trouble, aghhhmm, 'getting in!' I think he maybe needs to stay home instead and change the air in his head!But seriously..... Good luck to him I suppose?
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's not an issue if there are no dickheads involved. Usually not hard to spot, but if they are working as a team you may never know.What's really lame is the prostitute masquerading as the partner. Seen that go pear shaped twice now when the girls have realised they are expected to take one for the team!I'd like to think it's difficult for the organisers to spot, but two very average 50yr olds with two hot 25yrs olds - come on.Mr C
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well said...Yes of course and thank you for that. There is always two in a tango and the female counterpart, in this instance, even though I felt really sorry for her, she did sell out on herself to let him in the venue. Whether she was conscious of it or not.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It does happen. I have asked before if I can bring my two lovers with me and they said no. Which i though was unfair. Why is a couple always only two people. Lol. And no, you can do exactly want you like with no pressure. If someone tries to pressure you into something you don't want to do, you tell them to FO and then go tell the organizers. Hopefully they will be thrown out.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Why is a couple always only two people. Lol. Otherwise it's a triple?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I used to go with a friend to swingers , we have not even held hands let alone swung.I did it for three years, and in most of that time I did not have sex with anyone.he made a lot of women happy is all I can say. a few times, if I was in the mood then I went into a room with people , but mostly just one person at a time.did the couples thing and the two guy thing and the what ever floats your boat thing, but not often and never with him.even in sydney some went as a couple, because the guy at the door assumed they were a couple and even though the woman offered to pay her own way the guy said no problem I will pay and we go in as a couple.the problem with that is that led to expectations, and there is the rubits not the guy that goes with a woman and pretends to be a couple, its the attitude that goes with the guy/girlif someone bothers me, I walk away and move around a bit to get away from them. My body language is also very good, I have a very good please step away shield.I do not see the problem of friends being couples , as look at the prices they charge poor single guys. Its not fair, why should men have to pay more money, just because we have the golden pussy that opens all the doors.I also think, its not good to be so detailed about the people you meet of rhp. There are always two sides to every story, and to out a person can have its problems. The world of sexy people is smaller than you think, and its easy to recognise who you talk about and that can be hurtful, especially to this woman.It will make people reluctant to meet people, if they are going to be judged up here in an open forum.no body can meet all our expectations, shit happens on the day, we have to shrug it off.the problem was with the woman. she would have known he was not into her but she ignored that and thought a way to a mans heart is through his cock.I get that she wants to fuck, the old them of sex is life, and it shakes its fist at death, but not for long.when I am unwell the last thing I want is sex. But each to their own.if that guy had been drop dead beautiful and sexy and you wanted him, then the dick head factor seems to look a lot smaller in guys your attracted to.Better luck next time.I have never had a problem with guys being a pest, as its best to cut them off at the knees first , firm and polite then step away.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well.... Can't I be a triple couple, you know, if we are all fucking each other? I wasn't game to ask about bisexual male activity after I got the no. (ꇐ‿ꇐ)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Firstly, sharing my question and wanting some feedback and other members thoughts is genuine.I knew nothing about these nights before now. From what it sounds like and as other members have confirmed to me this happens a lot and for some it's now considered the norm? "So What?" was one gentleman's comment?Okay. Now I know.If anything, my own ignorance is in the fact that I was naive, to think that people actually follow the rules when it comes to events. Obviously that is not the case at all?Meeka, you were the first person I thought of when I raised the point in my OP about regular event goers who have always reiterated that there is no pressure, and, if there is then something's not right and is more about those individuals.It may have even been you who made the joke originally about the knitting and shandies? Not sure?I want to make clear I am not sitting in judgement of how much or how far people are willing or choose to explore at an event. If one party guest wants to fall asleep in the corner that's their reality.If another party guest want's to dance naked in the middle of the room to 'Funky Cold Medina' whilst being finger fucked by an elephant, then, that's fine with me too! I don't really care? As it's their life! I have also outed myself here, in a self deprecating and, I would like to think, objective way.Therefore, I have left myself wide open to be told, (if it's the case), that I'm wrong, or, I don't know shit from clay, or, I have my head up my own arse or whatever it may be? That's a given.On the subject of outing. I am not so much finger pointing at the individuals that night but at the situation which seems to, now that I have more information from other members, duplicate itself all over Australia at just about every event. Yes TR, maybe I shouldn't have described that particular scenario, even though, I did not mention names, the event or disclose anything like that. But your thoughts have been well noted TR.However, I'm basically standing my ground, on the principal alone. As I don't think it's so much me, as an individual, that has the power to deter people from going to events? If anything, I think, it's the very behaviour in question, as I am the individual who is the most not likely to ever attend another event.The very thing that the events rules and guidelines are supposed to prevent from happening.Oh well..you live and learn...Knit one, pearl one, knit one, pearl one....
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Paradisepair
12 years ago
We met a couple like this, at a social meet. When I say a couple like this I mean friends going out for a night on the town where they might independently get lucky. They were lovely, the unicorn needed a friend to feel comfortable being out.
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sweetgem
12 years ago
In relation to describing too much details about someone of RHP in the open Forums, especially if there was another party, other than the OP and the guy in mention, was involved!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
OP sorry to say but it is your fault as i see it that you had some big head in the way all night. Have you never learnt how to say "Go away.", or if that is not understood, "Fuck off!", or if that is not your style walk away. You are 42 and should be able to get what you want including who you hang out with.These places need to keep a balance of male female numbers. They would be over run if guys could get in for the same price as women. At least the couple discount guarantees one of each. Who cares how they know each other or what happens when inside the door.
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RHP User
12 years ago
a man is single doesn't mean he is an out of control horn bag.......married men as part of a couple can often be quite badly behaved ,it has nothing to do with the persons status. Perhaps deepblue you need to develop an icequeen shield ..or just very quietly whisper in his ear''fuk off''..that should work....sometimes we are just toooo polite......
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am shocked at the ignorant responses on this thread. I can't help but wonder if they would be different if it was a different forumite posting about their experiences. So maybe you outed someone incidently. Maybe that'll teach him not to be an arse, to his 'partner' and women like yourself, it's not like you said anything derogatory about the woman, unless of course you consider that her partnering up with a single guy to get him into the club under the radar is an issue... which apparenlty, according to most on this thread, it's not!And Blue, the situation sounds deceptive and I'm sorry to hear this was your first experience of a club. If the club/event does usually screen the single guys they allow to enter, then NO, I don't think single men should be allowed to enter as part of a couple if they are then going to act as a single male. Nuff said... Hugs... Peachy
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RHP User
12 years ago
If a woman planned to meet a couple from RHP and it turned out to be a single male, with a woman just tagging along...
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DonnaBrett
12 years ago
It doesn't matter if they aren't actually a couple as in romanticallyinvolved, if they are just fuck buddies that's fine to go to a party/club together as a couple. That being said though, even if they are just fuck buddies they should play together with others at said party. A situation where a guy uses a 'vanilla' female friend just to gain access and then ditch her to prey on other couples or women isn't right.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'tuscanred' even in sydney some went as a couple, because the guy at the door assumed they were a couple and even though the woman offered to pay her own way the guy said no problem I will pay and we go in as a couple. the problem with that is that led to expectations, and there is the rub its not the guy that goes with a woman and pretends to be a couple, its the attitude that goes with the guy/girl That woman was me. It was my first visit to the club, and I had very little idea what the "rules" were. This man indeed offered to pay (a group of us went together after a meet and greet), as I had only brought plastic and the club was cash only. However, we agreed I would pay him back the next day. Once inside we went our separate ways, though a little later he found me and tried to get some action. I gave him a polite "No, sorry, I'm afraid you're not my type", which made him walk off in a huff. I ran into him in the change room shortly after, where he was getting dressed. He was fuming, to the point where he was a bit scary. Even if we hadn't discussed me paying him back, that behaviour was out of line. Actions like that will never be the norm. I have rule now that I will only allow a man to come to the club with me if I've slept with him before. And the agreement is always that we will stay together the entire night. I'm not in a relationship, but have several FWBs whom I've been seeing for months, and respect for each other and others is paramount. I've seen men in the club literally abandon their wives in the hallway to try and join other couples alone. That is completely unacceptable. And Peachy, why would you wonder if a different poster would have gotten different answers?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'DonnaBrett'It doesn't matter if they aren't actually a couple as in romanticallyinvolved, if they are just fuck buddies that's fine to go to a party/club together as a couple. That being said though, even if they are just fuck buddies they should play together with others at said party. A situation where a guy uses a 'vanilla' female friend just to gain access and then ditch her to prey on other couples or women isn't right. Exactly.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_Direct' Quoting 'tuscanred' even in sydney some went as a couple, because the guy at the door assumed they were a couple and even though the woman offered to pay her own way the guy said no problem I will pay and we go in as a couple. the problem with that is that led to expectations, and there is the rub its not the guy that goes with a woman and pretends to be a couple, its the attitude that goes with the guy/girl That woman was me. It was my first visit to the club, and I had very little idea what the "rules" were. This man indeed offered to pay (a group of us went together after a meet and greet), as I had only brought plastic and the club was cash only. However, we agreed I would pay him back the next day. Once inside we went our separate ways, though a little later he found me and tried to get some action. I gave him a polite "No, sorry, I'm afraid you're not my type", which made him walk off in a huff. I ran into him in the change room shortly after, where he was getting dressed. He was fuming, to the point where he was a bit scary. Even if we hadn't discussed me paying him back, that behaviour was out of line. Actions like that will never be the norm. I have rule now that I will only allow a man to come to the club with me if I've slept with him before. And the agreement is always that we will stay together the entire night. I'm not in a relationship, but have several FWBs whom I've been seeing for months, and respect for each other and others is paramount. I've seen men in the club literally abandon their wives in the hallway to try and join other couples alone. That is completely unacceptable. And Peachy, why would you wonder if a different poster would have gotten different answers? See? Look how that bloke quickly saw an opening to try and take advantage of your legit situation Ms_D?You settled it and had an agreement at the door. Then once inside the venue he wants to have a tantrum so you, (as a new person and possibly wanting to avoid a scene), will pay him back, right there and then, with a root? That's not on!
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RHP User
12 years ago
and DonnaBrett.... Your post is the very thing I wanted to know. Prior to Saturday night, I just thought that if people went as a 'couple' then they were really a couple? Shit...knowing what I know now, I was dumb to even think that! I would disapprove of a male who has arrived at an event night/party as a couple, be it, defacto/married, FB, or FWB, then leaving the female and trying to play without her, without her knowledge or permission. As far as I'm concerned the female partner's happiness is paramount first and foremost. I respect that as a single female.We have to remember that if all the women cracked the shits and left then it would just leave a group of sorry arse blokes standing around with their dicks in their hands now wouldn't it?Im kidding on that last one..
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RHP User
12 years ago
As always people lie, deception is commonplace in our society today. I have no interest in lying in this part of my life or any other, but many many people seem to have learned the lesson that I life, to get what you want, lying is acceptable. It's a shame but both men and women do it all the time.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'MrsPeachyPyre'And Blue, the situation sounds deceptive and I'm sorry to hear this was your first experience of a club. If the club/event does usually screen the single guys they allow to enter, then NO, I don't think single men should be allowed to enter as part of a couple if they are then going to act as a single male. Nuff said... Hugs... Peachy Ta Peachy,........big hug.........K
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well some men act like spoilt little brats because the pretty lady at the sex party wouldn't bonk him. Slap his face and tell him to wake up to himself! Don't ever succumb to pressure or do anything you are not comfortable with. Grrr!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'deepbluesumthing' You settled it and had an agreement at the door. Then once inside the venue he wants to have a tantrum so you, (as a new person and possibly wanting to avoid a scene), will pay him back, right there and then, with a root? That's not on! Meh, I teal with men throwing tantrums every day in my job. I was glad when another Pie walked in on us and witnessed his behaviour though. But I'm not letting this guy spoil it for the other ones. All the other men I met that night (both at the meet-and-greet and the club) were very respectful.
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RHP User
12 years ago
And damnit Peachy, you left without answering my question.
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